Three

I’m on 3 different psychotropic medications.

Three.

When I told my primary care physician that I was feeling down and unmotivated, she suggested it was surely just my ADHD having a hard time “getting back into the swing of things” after having a baby.

-Enter Psychotropic #1-

About 6 months later, I struggled with the will to live… every.single.day. No matter what I did - and believe me I tried it all - I wanted to die.

-Enter Psychotropic #2-

8 months after that, the depression felt controlled, but my hallucinations had gotten so out of control they were interrupting my perception of reality, causing panic attacks and getting in the way of day to day activities.

-Enter stage left, Psychotropic #3-

Three is a cool number though, right?

Its how many strikes a pitcher must get for an out. Its the number of outs each team gets in an inning.  

Its usually how many games of rock, paper, scissors my husband and I play to decide who has to change a poopy diaper.

I have 3 pets.

I have 3 sisters.

Most of my workouts are in sets of 3.

Lithium is the 3rd element on the periodic table. Did you know that? Lithium is also, a psychotropic drug. (not one that I am on, for the record)

Christianity is based on the Holy 3 – The God, The Son, The Holy Spirit.

October 3rd is Mean Girls day, I’m pretty sure…

3’s not so bad??

…… no???

Here’s the thing, I hate taking medicine.

It took months and near death or major loss for me to be okay with any of my prescriptions.

But I am doing it. For my husband. For my son. For myself. I’ll take my meds.

Hmph, look at that, 3 reasons….

I don’t want it to be this way forever.

Even typing that made my eyes water.

One by one, I’ll ween off of each one when I’m ready.

I can’t wait til I “feel ready”. When I can handle life on my God-given strength alone.

I’ll get there. I just need a lil help for now.

We’ll celebrate… with a big funfetti cake and in cursive, blue icing it’ll read, “you did it”

….another 3.